Defeating the Self-Defeatist Brain Monster

Before I get started on the Self-Defeatist Brain Monster I wanted to start with something positive. I know I mentioned them before, but now the set is complete and they look amazing!

WW-NewCover
CW-NewCover
Lonely-Whelk-JPG.jpg

In celebration, The Wounded World is FREE this week on Amazon!! Grab your copy today!

Anyway, what I really want to talk about today is being inspired. There are different types of inspiration. For example, people ask me all the time, "Where do you get your ideas?" That's one kind. Then there is the magical lightning bolt from Zeus that magically tells you what art to create. That's another kind. Then there is the kind that is the little things that just sort of help you keep taking the right steps towards achieving your goals. 

I don't know where my ideas come from mostly. Sometimes I see a word and it makes me feel different. I don't think I've ever been struck by lightning, though there is still plenty of time for that. But I have begun to learn to seek the third type of inspiration everywhere I look. 

cat-meme-be-awesome

There are many ways to get set back when pursuing a dream. For example, going months on end with out a single download of my book--it's rough. Someone saying, "I just haven't had time to read your book" repeatedly, when you would rather they just never talked about it at all unless they had good things to say can be extremely frustrating. A negative review can be thoroughly debilitating, even if it provides solid and helpful feedback. 

And then there is the Self-Defeatist Brain Monster--it says things like, "well if no one buys the book then it must suck" (even though, perhaps it's my marketing skills that need work, not the book), or it says, "if you can't get the first three books to sell, why are you bothering to write a fourth one?" (even though I know, intellectually, that the most famous authors of all didn't make it with their first book). It says "that negative review of your book was right!" "You'll never make a living doing this." "You should probably quit while you're ahead." Etc., etc. 

We've all been there in one form or another. So we have to do something to fight the set-backs, whether real or imagined. I have a few strategies, and to be honest, they don't always work all of the time. Sometimes none of them work. And in those cases, I just have to keep pushing forward, one step at the time, and hope that time will defeat the Brain Monster for me.

But the first thing I like to do is notice something. I know, vague. But one day a couple of weeks ago I was feeling stressed and overwhelmed, so I convinced myself that going for a walk would be a good idea ("A short walk, though!" says the Brain Monster. "You wouldn't want to enjoy yourself too much when you have work to do"). It was rainy, and I walked by a bush with perfectly shaped droplets of water hanging from the branches. When you looked through them, you could see the whole world in them, but upside down.

It made me happy. And when I went back to work I was a little less tired and a little less stressed. The Brain Monster suddenly started having trouble hanging onto me, and for just a few minutes, it slipped and fell. The world is amazing, if we take the time to look at it. The Self-Defeatist Brain Monster hates that stuff though.

Another strategy is to focus on past successes. I have a couple of ways of doing this. For example, if I accidentally read a bad review of my work (prime feeding material for the Self-Defeatist Brain Monster), I will then go and read all of the positive reviews, and then go read negative reviews of my favourite books by other authors, and it just helps to put the one bad review in context. The Brain Monster hates context. I mean haaaates it. Another thing I do is that every time I receive a new hard copy of a book in the mail, I write myself a little, encouraging note. Then, if I'm feeling like a failure later, I will go back and read them, and try to remember the excitement I felt when it first came in the mail. 

A third strategy I use is to know my limits (still working on this). The Brain Monster says things like, "you just have to have a thick skin!" or "you just need to spend more time on it," or just, "it's not good enough until you edit it one more time." But the truth is, your skin is only as thick as it is. You only have as much time as you have. And sometimes I find myself needing to step back and say, "I can't do this anymore." That doesn't mean I can't do anything anymore--just maybe this one thing, or meet this deadline, or read these negative reviews. One thing I have stepped back from is reading reviews: it's fun to read the good ones, but I've learned that for me personally, they don't outweigh the negatives. Instead, I have Josh read them and give me whatever valid feedback is in them, or read them to me out loud if he thinks it would be good for me to hear. I let him make judgments on them, but I don't read them myself. The Brain Monster hates that, and Josh, too--he's too encouraging and supportive.

My last strategy (for today--there are lots more!) is to laugh. Sounds simple. Sounds kind of dumb. But it makes such a huge difference. Laughing for just a minute can ease up so much stress and pressure and the feelings of failure and send the Self-Defeatist Brain Monster scrambling away with his tail between his legs. Sometimes all I do is watch a funny Youtube Video, or tell myself a really dumb joke, or read amusing cat memes on the internet. But every attempt helps.

I think we all have a Self-Defeatist Brain Monster, though some of us are better at ignoring it than others. It's up to us to actively work towards our future, despite the most concerted efforts of the Brain Monster.

Just be like Carl: 

carl-red-dot

9 Things About Babies From A Non-Baby Human

My best friend is having a baby next month. I have named him Chainsaw. I think it is a beautiful name, perfectly suited to a child of his stature and upbringing. I'm sure it will stick. Even on the birth certificate and everything.

As a result of the upcoming event, I have been doing a lot of reading up on babies and parenthood and all of that stuff and I have learned that it is quite difficult to be a parent, while apparently quite rewarding. It is very messy and very beautiful. It is not the same for everyone. Every kid is different. Every parent is different. Every situation is different. Being a parent means you have to keep on your toes, always be adapting to new and unexpected situations, but always be consistent and fair...

Anyway. There's a lot of stuff to learn. Luckily I'm not the one that has to learn it. 

I've heard the story of my birth about a bajillion times, and the story of Josh's a couple of times, and I've heard other people's stories. There's something about the baby years that make people talk and relive those moments over and over, despite the stress and mess and fuss. But I don't remember it myself. I'll have to take notes when Chainsaw arrives. But that means that all of my thoughts come from a non-baby human perspective.

What I think is that babies can be quite hilarious.

Here are 10 things I have learned about babies during my research. After I've spent a little time with Chainsaw, I will probably update this. But, here's what I've got for now:

1. Babies make us laugh.

Listen to the baby.

Listen to the baby.

Hahaha this baby is so mean. But also is telling the truth.

Hahaha this baby is so mean. But also is telling the truth.

It's the truth.

It's the truth.

2. Babies see the world with new eyes.

Hahahahahaha

Hahahahahaha

Nope! Surprise!

Nope! Surprise!

3. Babies are always willing to try new things.

Most of us still haven't really figured this out yet. Except pianists.

Most of us still haven't really figured this out yet. Except pianists.

4. Babies ask interesting questions.

Good question. Still a mystery.

Good question. Still a mystery.

Wait'll you meet Santa.

Wait'll you meet Santa.

5. Babies are more like us than we might admit.

Yup. Your future has been decided!

Yup. Your future has been decided!

Definitely innocent.

Definitely innocent.

6. Babies get excited about the most amazing things.

I feel the same way about watermelon.

I feel the same way about watermelon.

babygif

7. Babies are opinionated.

I've come to the conclusion that it's definitely an improvement. Definitely.

I've come to the conclusion that it's definitely an improvement. Definitely.

That never changes. Well, I don't know--maybe after you have kids it does. Yes, definitely.

That never changes. Well, I don't know--maybe after you have kids it does. Yes, definitely.

8. Babies don't judge (very much-- it's basically just: mom vs not mom).

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9. Babies make weird faces.

batman baby
babypeas

And there you have it. 9 things about babies. What is your favourite thing about babies?

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The State of Graphospasm - 8 Ways To Combat Writer's Block

Now technically, graphospasm is the cramping of your thumb and forefinger, making it literally impossible to write. However, I like to think of the word in a more figurative sense--as a metaphor for writer's block.

At first I thought this was a picture of a severed hand, but I think it's probably just like, a fake hand? I don't know though--you tell me.

At first I thought this was a picture of a severed hand, but I think it's probably just like, a fake hand? I don't know though--you tell me.

Lots of people have writer's block. They say they can't think of any words, they don't have any ideas, they don't know what to write. I understand this feeling. But I think it helps to think of writer's block as graphospasm. As a muscle spasm.

What do you do when you get a muscle cramp? You stretch it. You eat a banana. Massage the muscle. Ice. Take a bath. 

Guess what: those are the same strategies for dealing with writer's block!

I know, it sounds ridiculous. But here are my 7 strategies for dealing with writer's block like a pro.

1. Stretch it.

All the pictures I could find in the Internet archive of people stretching were of white men. Go figure. Uh oh, is my feminism showing?

All the pictures I could find in the Internet archive of people stretching were of white men. Go figure. Uh oh, is my feminism showing?

By "it" I mean your brain. Stretching is less literal when it comes to your mental muscles, but no less helpful. But what does that look like? Simple. It looks like writing something else, preferably outside of your comfort zone. Use an online idea generator or try writing a short story or a poem in a genre you're not used to. Try picking a random word from the dictionary and finding a way to use it in your project. Maybe even try telling your story with a different medium--paint or sketch or sing or build. Stretch your creative muscles.

2. Eat a banana.

Yes. I know these are pears. Thank you for pointing that out. I couldn't find a banana, okay???

Yes. I know these are pears. Thank you for pointing that out. I couldn't find a banana, okay???

As much as we would love eating to be the solution for everything, I don't necessarily mean you to eat literally. But the whole idea of eating a banana to deal with a muscle spasm is that you are missing a particular nutrient--potassium. So you've got writer's block: what are you missing? Maybe you're story is fine, you're just missing a key component, like a character or a scene or an object. Maybe you're missing knowledge and need to do additional research. Maybe you're missing that one word that will catapult you from not writing to explosive writing. Maybe it's actually something in your environment--go get a cup of tea or a cat. Ask yourself: What am I missing?

3. Ice it.

It's 3 degrees outside right now--I opted to not go to the office. My bed is warmer and filled with cats... and they are all bathing themselves simultaneously.

It's 3 degrees outside right now--I opted to not go to the office. My bed is warmer and filled with cats... and they are all bathing themselves simultaneously.

One thing I've found that prevents me from making progress with my writing is when I'm writing with the wrong tone. If I'm feeling sad or depressed, that's not the time for me to be writing humor--it comes out sounding flat and boring. When I'm hyper, serious stuff tends to come out sounding absurd or over-the-top cheerful. Consider switching projects to match your mood, or switch the tone of your story to match it's mood. Ice, ice, monster.

4. Massage.

Braaaaaaaains.

Braaaaaaaains.

Okay, in this case, a massage could actually help. Sometimes, a set amount of relaxation can juice those creative muscles. But for those of us who can't afford to just go out and get a massage whenever we feel like it, it's time for us to massage our brains a little bit. I like to call this the "one word at a time" strategy.

Here's how it works: you're in the middle of a story or a chapter or a sentence. You have no idea what to write. So write just one word. Just one. That's all. Then, write a second word. Easy, right? Now write a third word. Keep writing one word at a time, until you get over the hump. This is the strategy I use the most often, as it's the easiest to use and gets me over my writer's block the quickest. Seriously, try it.

5. Take a bath. 

I had to decide between this and the Star Spangled Banner.

I had to decide between this and the Star Spangled Banner.

This is a good way to waste time, unless you are capable of actually working while in the bathtub. But what is a bath, actually? It is the process of immersing something in water. So try immersing yourself in something besides your current project. For example, put different music on. Let yourself drown in it. Take your notebook outdoors and write under the stars or the sun (which is just a really bright, specific star). Research a topic that is totally unrelated to your project. Immerse your mind in something and let it help you focus and recharge. 

Note: do not use Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or any nonsense like that. Do not use random searching. Be smart: focus.

6. Drink water. 

Does anyone know what the pieces of paper on the milk bottles are for?

Does anyone know what the pieces of paper on the milk bottles are for?

This one is literal. As in, actually go drink water. Not soda. Not tea. Not coffee. Not wine. Not pineapple juice. Water. H20. Sometimes dehydration can make it difficult to think and the best way to cure that issue is to drink water. Waaaaater. DRINK IT.

It is also figurative. The water of a writer is accountability. We all need goals, but we need something or someone keeping us in check and making sure we are working towards our goals. For writer's with fans, sometimes dipping into your fan base is sufficient accountability. For those without a fan base, you might need an accountability partner. I don't recommend using a spouse for this. Find a friend--someone online, someone locally, another writer--who will help keep you moving towards your goals. 

7. Take a painkiller.

If you need a painkiller, I recommend Ibuprofen or Acetaminophen-- not random bottles you find in an old basement.

If you need a painkiller, I recommend Ibuprofen or Acetaminophen-- not random bottles you find in an old basement.

Once again, not literal. Sometimes if I get burned out on a project, working on it is the last thing I want to do. Even when I try, I feel like i don't have anything to say--i.e. writer's block. So I work on something I'm excited about. It might be a novel or a short story or a poem or a blog post. It might be silly. It might be a random writing prompt. It might be a letter I've been dying to write to my grandmother. Whatever it is, the idea is that it helps reignite my passion for writing--it reminds me what exactly I love so much about it. Then, when I go back to my other project, I feel refreshed. 

The catch is that you still have to get the first project done. Most over-the-counter painkillers only work for 4 hours, so set a time limit and then hit your first project again with new passion and excitement.

8. Go to the doctor.

My handwriting looks like this too, so it's not just a phenomenon of the medical community.

My handwriting looks like this too, so it's not just a phenomenon of the medical community.

We exist in communities for a reason. Sometimes, it's so we can have someone tell us that yes, that excruciating pain is appendicitis. Sometimes, it's so our mom can roll her eyes as we complain, yet again, about that problem we haven't solved yet. Sometimes it's so we don't have to grow our own food or homeschool our own children or change our own oil. And sometimes, it's so someone else can drag us out of the rut called writer's block. 

If you're having trouble writing, sometimes all you need is to chat with another writer. Or group of writers. Call one up, meet one for coffee, or just chat online. It can be like magic.

Here's what I think.

Writer's "block" can be extremely difficult to deal with. It can be frustrating and overwhelming. But by thinking of it as a mental muscle spasm, then it ceases to be an excuse for not writing, and rather a condition that can be treated and dealt with. Don't let writer's block stop you from writing. Find a solution.

I also recognize that not all of these strategies work all the time. But that's no reason to not do anything. Pick something. Try it. And get on the proverbial horse.

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**All images are from the Internet Archive on Flickr.

FREE E-BOOKS ARE OF THE DEVIL (or are they...?)

Once upon a time I met an author at a Comic Con. He was friendly, but after about thirty seconds of casual conversation asked me, "How much do you charge for your e-books?" 

"$2.99," I said. "The standard."

Well. These were the magic words to learning all about the chip on his shoulder.

"$2.99 is TOO LOW a price for ANY book! It's practically free!" he exclaimed. "Authors work hard--you work hard, spend hours and hours writing these books, and selling it for such an absurdly low price is ridiculous!"

I didn't know what to say. On one hand, he had a point--authors do work hard and spend their own money and deserve to get paid fairly for their work. On the other hand, he had just out-and-out insulted me about my personal choices on how to price my own products. Thankfully, I didn't need to say anything:

"And authors who give their books away for free--they're ruining it for the rest of us!" he continued. "They are shaping the consumer's expectation that they shouldn't have to pay for books, that entertainment is cheap! Well, I think books should cost at least $6, e-book or not! And I've never charged less than $5.99 for any of my books and neither should you! And usually I charge $9.99 or $11.99 for e-books."

Well, sometimes I do the opposite of what people want (it's in my genes) and so I gave my book away for free this weekend. The Clock Winked (free til Feb 3!) had so many downloads, that it listed as a free bestseller in five different categories. I got new Facebook likes, new newsletter subscribers, new G+ followers, new Twitter subscribers, and a whole bunch of sales of my other books. It was an exciting weekend, to say the least.

ebookseverywhere

The thing about "not giving books away for free" or "practically free" is a conceptual debate that I get into with myself a lot. On one hand, like the kind gentleman said, I did a lot of work on my books and I want to get paid for them--right? On the other hand, giving books away for free is a great promotional tool that could lead to new readers who will hopefully buy my other books--right?

I think sometimes it comes down to the way it is and the way it isn't. If this issue was important enough to me, I would start a crusade, build a website, create a union, and get other authors on my side. "NO MORE FREE BOOKS," is what our picket signs would say. "AUTHORS NEED FOOD TOO!" I would try to change things--I wouldn't just list my books too high and complain when they didn't sell that "it's not fair."

But it's not that important to me, and this is the way things are. Authors work their butts off to pursue their passion. They sell their books cheap. Sometimes they give them away for free. Readers like free e-books. Readers like cheap e-books. And so here we are, working in the system we live in. Being self-employed in the system we live in.

Being self-employed is a risky business, and sometimes those risks involve giving things away for free. Look at TD Bank. They give away so many pens it's probably an environmental hazard. Every business in town has TD Bank pens--soon we'll be drowning in them.

I made this graphic myself. Can you tell? ;)

I made this graphic myself. Can you tell? ;)

I just want to say that while,  yes, there are plenty of things to complain about in the system we live in, there are plenty of things to be grateful for, too. Not 20 years ago, women writers used male or initial pen names because books by women didn't sell. We still need to work on this, but it's getting better. Not fifteen years ago, it was almost impossible to be successful as a self-published author, without being extraordinarily wealthy or buying equipment and building your own publishing company. Not ten years ago, authors who decided to be self-published were considered frauds, fakes, and not worth reading. Not five years ago, self-published authors were barely shedding the negative stereotypes associated with self-publishing, and still floundering trying to figure out what works and what doesn't.

Now we have resources upon resources, massive networks of authors and readers there to support each other, and access to whatever we need to accomplish our goals. We don't need a publishing company, we just need the support of each other. We don't need to be experts at marketing, we just need a few strategies that work. Like giving away our books. For free.

It's the author's choice whether or not they want to give something away for free. It's the author's prerogative to determine why they want to give something away for free (or not). And here's to a future in which authors respect each other's choices in the matter. 

What does matter is the quality of the e-books that are being produced, and the standards by which we judge them. But that, my friends, is another debate for another time.

In the meantime, we should focus on making the world better for the authors that come  after us.

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Click to download a free copy (until Feb 3).

clockwinkedcover

How to Write That Book You've Been Thinking About For Years

In my travels I've met a lot of people who have confessed to me that they have always wanted to write a book. Some of them have tried to start it and then gotten bored or busy or befuddled. Some of them have pitched me their ideas to see if I would write their book for them for free because it's such a great idea (short answer: no). Some of them have decided that they will get around to writing it on their next vacation or after their kids move out or when they retire.

So, how do you get on track to writing that book you've been thinking about forever?

The first step is to decide whether you really want to write a book or not.

http://memegenerator.net/instance/58747797

http://memegenerator.net/instance/58747797

Because here's the thing: being an author is cool! You get to say "I'm an author!" and then people say to you, "really? I've always wanted to write a book! It's so neat that I know a real author!" and it makes you feel good. But if that's the only reason you want to write a book, then you should probably just run for office or do something nice for someone so that people say nice things about you.

Writing a book is a big commitment, and if you don't really like writing, it's a lot of work and headaches for not a whole lot of gain.

So don't write a book for the sake of writing a book. Write a book because you really want to write a book.

The second step is to decide why you want to write a book.

Maybe you saw the famous rise of JK Rowling to celebrity. Maybe Stephen King is your biggest hero and you want to be just like him (and his millions). If you want to write a book because you want to make a lot of money or become famous, you're out of luck. If you think income inequality is bad in general, you should see the divisions along author lines. The midlist author is slowly disappearing, with  the majority of authors, both self-published and traditionally published, fall into the "makes less than $10,000/year" category. The number of authors making seven figures is less than 50. 

That said, there are plenty of good reasons to write a book, that may help you figure out your why: 

http://memegenerator.net/instance/54949292

http://memegenerator.net/instance/54949292

  • You love writing.

  • You think you have a great idea.

  • You want to tell a particular story.

  • You can't not write.

  • You have a message to send that you are passionate about.

  • You want to compile information on a topic that will help people.

  • You want to help people and think that what you have to say can do that.

Whatever your reason for writing a book, there has to be passion behind it, or else the process of writing it will be arduous, agonizing, and awful.

The third step is to make a plan.

Once upon a time I met a woman at a writing event. She told me she wanted to work as a writer, full time, for a company. She wanted to do blogging or letter writing, or something like that. I said, "Great! What kind of stuff do you write?" and she replied, "I don't write yet. I want to get the job and learn to write while I'm getting paid to do it."

Wouldn't that be nice? 

That almost never happens. But typically, as a writer, if someone is going to pay you to write, you have to prove that you can write first. Professionally, this might mean building a portfolio or resume. If you're talking to a publisher, you have to have a draft ready. But, either way, you have to make a plan to get to where you want to be.

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3rm338

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3rm338

Usually the first step in writing a book is to come up with an idea, but once you've got that figured out, there are a couple options. The first is to sit down and start writing the book. The second is to sit down and start outlining the book. Both options involve doing something.

Figure out what steps you think will work for you, and get working. 

The good thing about this is that you have the option to change your plan if you need to. There is no taskmaster standing over your head threatening to rip out your fingernails. The bad thing about this is that you have to manipulate yourself into getting the work done. The book won't get written if you don't write it.

For your convenience, I've drafted up two different potential plans that you could use, assuming you want to get a 50,000 word novel written in a year. The first one involves just diving headfirst into the writing. The second one involves using an outline.

Plan 1

January

1. Create document file.
2. Write at least 1,000 words per week = 250 four times.
3. Write on Mondays at lunch, Wednesdays after dinner, Thursdays at lunch, and Saturday mornings.

February

Repeat.

March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December

Repeat.

Plan 2

January

Week 1: Create document files for draft and for outline, and pull together any necessary resources.
Week 2: Write character descriptions.
Week 3: Write long and short novel summaries.
Week 4: Figure out novel structure.

February

Week 1: Flesh out Part 1 of outline.
Week 2: Flesh out part 2 of outline.
Week 3: Flesh out Part 3 of outline.
Week 4: Flesh out Part 4 of outline.

March

Start writing. 
Write during lunch break Monday through Friday with a minimum of 230 words per day = 1150 per week.

April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December

Repeat.

Now, everyone is different, and clearly this is just a vague structure. Some plans might include things like building a website or doing character sketches, working on book covers or querying agents. But making a plan and sticking to it is the best way to get your book done.

Remember, don't hold back. Don't self-edit too much. Don't get discouraged. Take Vitamin D. And be patient.

The fourth step is to consider publishing.

Do you want to publish your book? Because, you don't have to. There is no rule anywhere that states that if you write a book then you have to publish it. Honestly, if you've made it all the way to the end of a book, that is a huge accomplishment and you should be proud, even if you decide never to go another step further.

http://www.joabcohenauthor.com/2014/02/memes-how-to-make-them-their-cultural.html

http://www.joabcohenauthor.com/2014/02/memes-how-to-make-them-their-cultural.html

But if you do want to publish, you have to think about whether you want to get an agent and go through a traditional publisher, whether you want to self-publish, or whether you want to pay someone to take care of all of this nonsense for you. All are valid options and only you can decide which is best for you. 

Each path will involve a few of the same tasks, but mostly a different set of tasks post first draft. For example, you'll need beta readers to look at your manuscript one way or another--people who will read and critique your work to help you make it better. You'll need a copy editor, because no agent will even look at a manuscript filled with mistakes, and if you self-publish one like that, you'll likely face a good deal of ridicule from the trolls and grammar police (and just normal people too, to be quite honest). But if you want a publisher, you will have to spend hours drafting query letters and sending them out to different agents. If you want to self-publish, you will have to spend money hiring people to do the tasks you can't do yourself, or spend hours learning how to do those things. If you go through a small press, you will have to do a lot of research on what they offer, look into the success of their previous projects, and then spend a lot of money to get your book through the whole process.

So do your research, and once you've finished your manuscript, it will be time to make a new plan--The Publishing Plan.

The Big Secret

So, now that you've read all the way to the end of my lengthy soliloquy on how to write  your book, it's time for me to reveal the big secret to becoming an author:

Stick your butt in the chair.

That's all there is to it! Everyone talks about how hard it is and how much work it involves and all of the crazy hoops you have to jump through just to get a manuscript ready for publication or ready to have a publisher look at it, but all you really have to do is one thing: stick your butt in the chair. Every day. Every week. Every month.

And write the damn book.

https://imgflip.com/i/y96ge

https://imgflip.com/i/y96ge