How To Survive the Apocalypse, Part 5: Skills to Learn Before the Apocalypse (Because Google Won’t Be There to Help You)

Picture this: society has collapsed. You’re standing in the ruins of a once-thriving supermarket, holding a can of beans you can’t open because you never learned how to do it without a can opener. Your phone battery died weeks ago. The last person who claimed to know "bushcraft" set himself on fire trying to start one.

The realization hits: you are wildly unprepared for this.

That’s the thing about survival—you don’t get to Google your way out of it. The internet won’t be there to tell you which mushrooms are edible or how to stop bleeding when you inevitably do something dumb with a knife.

So if you don’t want to be a tragic cautionary tale in someone else’s post-apocalyptic legend, now’s the time to start training. Here are the top survival skills to master before the world ends.

Because when the WiFi is gone, all you’ll have left is whatever’s in your brain—and hopefully, a better plan for opening that can of beans.

1. How To Start A Fire

Fire isn’t just about staying warm—it’s about staying alive. It purifies water, cooks food, wards off predators (both the four-legged and desperate-human kind), and keeps you from spiraling into existential despair when the world around you is nothing but darkness.

The problem? Fire isn’t as easy as movies make it look.

Here’s what you need to know:

• Master at least three fire-starting methods. Lighters and waterproof matches are great, but if you don’t have a ferro rod (or at least a magnifying glass to focus sunlight), you’re playing on easy mode with no backup plan.

• Find dry tinder, even in wet conditions. Look for dry inner bark, pine needles, or even carry cotton balls soaked in petroleum jelly. Better yet, collect it when you see it and keep it in a waterproof bag. Then you’ll have it available no matter the weather.

• Build a sustainable fire. A tiny flicker of flame is cute, but a long-burning coal bed is what keeps you warm all night. This is especially important if you’re staying in one place for a while. It’s easier to keep the fire going than to restart it..

🔥 Practice Now: Try making a fire in bad weather. If you can get a flame going in rain or wind, you’re apocalypse-ready. If not, congratulations! You have died of dysentry. Better luck next time.

2. Finding Water

You can last weeks without food, but without water? Three days. Maybe less if the apocalypse has you running from… things. Zombies. Dinosaurs. ICE.

The problem? Water that looks clean probably isn’t. Even that picturesque mountain stream is full of things that want to kill you (bacteria, parasites, maybe the ghosts of less-prepared survivors).

How to Not Die of Thirst:

• Find water sources. Moving water (rivers, streams) is better than stagnant pools. Rain collection is a solid backup.

• Filter first, purify second. A survival straw or filter is great, but boiling is your best bet if you don’t want to gamble with dysentery. (And let’s be honest, you don’t.)

• Learn natural water indicators. Tracks leading to water sources, morning dew collection, and plants like cattails can all point you in the right direction.

💧 Practice Now: Go on a hike and try finding, filtering, and purifying water. Bonus points if you do it without a store-bought filter. Extra bonus points if you don’t get sick afterward.

3. Basic First Aid

If you trip and bust your knee open in the pre-apocalypse world, you get stitches and a bill from the ER. In the post-apocalypse? You get an infection, a fever, and maybe a starring role in your group’s first funeral.

Honestly, basic first aid is great to know even pre-apocalypse. Check with your local police or fire department. Many of them offer first aid classes. And if they don’t, you can probably request it.

Survival First Aid Must-Knows:

• Stop bleeding, or stop living. Learn how to apply pressure, pack a wound, and use a tourniquet correctly (as in, not as the first option).

• Prevent infection. If you don’t have antibiotics, then honey, salt, and even some plant extracts can help. (Note: learn which plants before you start smearing random leaves on your wounds.)

• Recognize shock and dehydration. If someone’s confused, clammy, or staring blankly while you yell at them, they might be going into shock. Elevate their legs, keep them warm, and get them water if possible.

🚑 Practice Now: Take a basic first aid course. If that’s too much commitment, at least learn how to stop bleeding. You’ll thank yourself when you inevitably cut your finger on a can of apocalypse beans.

Survival Isn’t Just About Luck—It’s About Skill

When the world goes sideways, you don’t want to be the person standing in the rubble, wondering why no one ever taught you how to make a fire or find clean water. Survival isn’t about just luck (though that may play a role)—it’s about knowing what to do before things fall apart.

The good news? You still have time to learn.

The bad news? If you wait too long, you might be the reason someone else gets a crash course in makeshift funerals.

So start now. Light a fire in the rain. Purify some sketchy water. Learn how to patch yourself up without a pharmacy. Because when the WiFi is gone and the world is burning, the only thing keeping you alive… is you.

How To Survive the Apocalypse, Part 4: Shelter & Safe Zones

Look, when the apocalypse hits, you’re going to need a place to crash. And I don’t mean “find a cozy Airbnb in the wasteland” (though, honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone still tried to charge a cleaning fee). No, you need a real shelter—somewhere to hunker down, store your supplies, and hopefully not get eaten by whatever new apex predator emerges.

But here’s the thing: you can’t just wing it. You don’t want to be the person wandering aimlessly through the ruins, muttering, Wow, I probably should have thought about this sooner.

So, let’s talk about safe zones and how to secure a decent shelter before the world goes sideways.

Step 1: Identify Potential Safe Zones

First things first: Where are you going when everything goes belly-up? Your options depend on what kind of apocalypse you’re dealing with, but let’s go over a few solid choices:

• Your Own Home – If your house is defensible, well-stocked, and not directly in the path of disaster, this might be your best bet. Reinforce doors and windows now. Maybe get to know your neighbors so you can form an impromptu defense squad. This is also likely the easiest solution.

• A Friend or Family Member’s House – Got a cousin with a fortified basement? A friend with a farm? Establish a “just in case” plan now so you’re not that person showing up unannounced with a bag of trail mix and regret. Make sure you have a way of getting to this person’s house as well, especially if they’re more than a short drive away.

• Public Buildings – Schools, libraries, fire stations—these often have emergency supplies, strong infrastructure, and (in the case of libraries) useful books to keep you from going insane. They even have nuclear shelters sometimes! Check out what’s in your area now, so you’ll have that information if… when?… you need it.

• Nature Retreats – If cities become dangerous, rural areas, cabins, or even caves could be viable. If you don’t already know how to live off the land, maybe start watching some survival YouTube videos now. Hot tip: don’t eat mushrooms.

Step 2: The “Bug In” vs. “Bug Out” Debate

Do you stay put or do you flee? The answer depends on the apocalypse. If it’s something slow-moving (economic collapse, supply chain failure, AI existential crisis), staying home and fortifying is likely your best bet. If it’s something fast (wildfires, zombies, alien invasion), you may need to get out fast.

Prepping for both options means:
✅ Having a go-bag – At least 72 hours of food, water, medicine, and a flashlight that isn’t dead.
✅ Knowing where you’ll go – Choose two or three safe zones in different directions. Roads will be blocked, and you may need alternatives. You may have to hoof it, so make sure you have a good pair of shoes.
✅ Planning for pets – Don’t leave them behind, but also don’t assume a feral cat will become your apocalypse survival partner either.

Step 3: Make Your Shelter Actually Livable

A shelter is useless if it’s unlivable. If you’re planning to stay in your home, make sure you:

• Stockpile water & non-perishable food. If supply chains break, you don’t want your last meal to be an expired granola bar.

• Insulate and fortify. Patch those weak points now before looters (or just bad weather) make them worse.

• Get backup power. A generator, solar panels, or at least a stockpile of batteries and candles will make life much, much easier. If you’re in the north, a non-electrical means of heat is probably a good plan too.

Step 4: The Ultimate Rule—Have a Backup Plan

No shelter is 100% secure. Always have an escape route, know multiple safe zones, and, most importantly, don’t wait until the world is already on fire to start thinking about this.

Because when the time comes, the last thing you want is to be sitting in your car, watching civilization burn, and realizing you have absolutely no idea where you’re going.

New Book: Market Like It's HOT

Skip the read, and click to grab the book here!

When I first started writing and publishing, I thought marketing would be simple. Write a good book, put it out there, and readers would find it.

It didn’t exactly work out that way.

An early attempt at book marketing with a grumpy cat meme

Marketing turned out to be messy, overwhelming, confusing—and full of trial and error.

Market Like It’s Hot is a collection of essays about that messy middle: learning how to market books in a way that feels sustainable, creative, and (sometimes) even fun. Many of these essays first appeared in my blog or newsletter, where I’ve shared honest reflections, practical advice, and hard-won lessons over the years.

I’ve also included some brand-new pieces written just for this collection.

At the heart of it all is my philosophy: there’s no single “right” way to market your work. Every author’s journey looks a little different, and the best strategies are the ones that fit your goals, your energy, and your life—not someone else’s blueprint.

Whether you’re a writer looking for encouragement and ideas, or a reader curious about the chaotic, behind-the-scenes world of publishing, I hope you’ll find something to enjoy (and maybe even be inspired by) in these pages.

How to Survive the Apocalypse, Part 3: Community

The apocalypse has arrived. You might have always imagined that you’d be the rugged lone wolf, stalking through the wasteland, surviving on sheer wit and a diet of questionable mushrooms. But in reality? Lone wolves tend to die—usually because of an infected wound, a bad decision, or sheer exhaustion.

In fact, the key to surviving any world-ending disaster is community.

But building a strong community of people you can count on isn’t easy. Best to get started now.

Befriend Your Neighbors (Before You Need Them)

Yes, even the ones who never bring their trash cans in on time.

The people who live closest to you are the people you’ll most likely rely on in an emergency. Whether it’s a natural disaster or a slow-burning societal collapse, knowing your neighbors before things go sideways can mean the difference between survival and desperation.

Learn their names. (Seriously, just knowing their names is a good start.)

Find out what they do for work. If one of them is a doctor or mechanic, that’s information worth filing away. It’s also great to know a little bit about their personality. Are they selfish or generous? Do they offer to help out or talk to you with the chain still on the door? Are they open to your attempts to befriend them or do they always try to shut you out?

Offer small favors—help shovel snow, carry groceries, be the person who has an extra battery when the power goes out. Reciprocity builds trust.

Because let’s be honest—when the world starts crumbling, you don’t want to be “mysterious hermit neighbor.” You want to be the person they want to help.

Watch for opportunities to show up. You never know when your neighbor might need a helping hand that they aren’t sure how to ask for. It might be something simple, like bringing in their packages when they’re on vacation or going to their awkward holiday party. Or something more complicated, like feeding their cat when they’re in the hospital. But showing up when they need you is a surefire way to let them know: if the world ends, I’ve got your back.

Get Involved in Local Groups

It doesn’t matter if it’s the PTA, a gardening club, or a volunteer fire department—being involved in your community before a crisis means you’ll have a support system when one happens.

• Join a local Facebook group (Yes, even the chaotic ones full of neighborhood drama).

• Attend city meetings (You don’t have to care about zoning laws, but it’s good to know who does).

• Find local skill-sharing workshops—some places offer free classes on first aid, self-defense, or basic survival skills.

The goal isn’t to become the town prepper; it’s to become known. If people know you and trust you before the apocalypse, they’re a lot more likely to let you in when things go bad.

Bonus points: they’re also more likely to let you in when the apocalypse doesn’t come. They’re more likely to help you with moves toward social justice, more likely to buy girl scout cookies from your kid, and more likely to be someone you can count on.

Community never hurts. So go make some friends.

Learn the Art of Barter & Reciprocity

Money might not mean much in an apocalypse, but skills and favors always have value. Start practicing now:

• Swap favors instead of paying for everything (Need your lawn mowed? Offer homemade bread in return).

• Learn skills that are valuable in a crisis—basic car repair, first aid, gardening.

• Be the person who helps others without expecting anything in return (Because generosity now = loyalty later).

If you start building goodwill today, you won’t be knocking on doors begging for help when the world falls apart—you’ll be part of a network that already wants to help each other.

Surviving alone isn’t just difficult—it’s exhausting. If you build community now, you won’t just increase your odds of survival—you’ll make life better in the meantime.

And if the apocalypse never comes? Well, at least you’ll know your neighbors' names, have a solid group of friends, and won’t have to barter your last can of beans to get someone to fix your car. Win-win-win-win.

How to Survive the Apocalypse, Part 2: Tools

Alright, you’ve committed to surviving the apocalypse! Hurray! Now, before you go running into the woods armed with nothing but optimism and a rusty can opener, we need to talk about tools.

Because let’s be honest: "survival" without the right gear is just "delaying death by a few minutes."

The Must-Have tools

There are tools, and then there are tools. The ones that keep you alive. The ones that make life slightly less miserable when civilization is crumbling around you.

Here’s your absolute bare-bones survival kit:

• Knife (or multi-tool) – A good blade is everything. Cutting, prying, whittling, threatening rival scavengers, stabbing zombies—endless possibilities.

• Fire starter – Waterproof matches, a lighter, or (if you’re fancy) a ferro rod. You don’t want to be rubbing sticks together like a chump. It’s also good to know how to build a fire that will last. Call a boy scout.

• Flashlight & Batteries – The apocalypse will be dark. Literally and figuratively, no doubt.

• Basic first aid kit – Because you will cut yourself. No exceptions. Don’t forget the antibiotic ointment!

• Water filtration – A Lifestraw, a Sawyer filter, or at least some purification tablets. Maybe even a pot to boil water in. Drinking straight from a random stream is not the survival flex you think it is.

• Food you don’t have to cook – Canned beans, protein bars, peanut butter. The essentials.

• Map & Compass – If GPS is down, you’ll wish you had these. (Yes, I know you don’t actually know how to use a compass. Learn now, not when you’re lost in the woods.)

The Nice-to-Have tools (a.k.a. “I’d Rather Not Die Miserably")

These aren’t life-or-death essentials, but they’ll make survival significantly less awful:

• A solid backpack – Because carrying your apocalypse loot in a Kroger bag is just sad.

• Tarp or emergency bivvy – Shelter. Rain protection. Improvised sled. Fancy cape. Tons of uses.

• Hand-crank radio – Staying informed is good. Staying entertained is also good.

• Duct tape & zip ties – The real MVPs of problem-solving.

• Portable solar charger – Because deep down, you know you’re still going to want to check your phone.

• Socks! Several extra pairs if you can swing it. I’m serious. If your socks get wet, your feet get cold. If your feet get cold… you’ll probably die.

The “I’m Either a Genius or a Hoarder” Tools

These tools aren’t strictly necessary, but if you happen to have them, you’ll feel like a post-apocalyptic king:

• Crowbar – The Swiss Army knife of breaking and entering.

• Fishing kit – If you’re patient and enjoy eating disappointment.

• Binoculars – So you can spot trouble before it spots you.

• Harmonica – Because even in the apocalypse, someone needs to bring the vibes.

Step 4: The One Tool You Can’t Buy

Your brain.

All the gear in the world won’t help you if you don’t know how to use it. Practice now. Start a fire. Purify water. Learn basic first aid. And most importantly, always ask yourself:

Can I actually survive without WiFi?

If the answer is no… well, it’s time to start training.