This is part of my series of essays for writers. Get them delivered to your inbox by signing up here!
A perturbed Buck allowing me to take a selfie with him.
Recently, I went to a workshop offered by someone who claimed to be a bestseller and award winner, and said they were going to walk the audience through their path for how they got there. I mostly attended out of curiosity, and because I’ve been to other “bestseller” workshops, and wanted to see if it was just their story or if they were going to offer practical advice.
I was severely disappointed.
The author was counting “bestseller” as having once received the “bestseller” sticker on Amazon; they had not gotten on the USA Today, NYTimes, or any other list. Their “award” was one of those small ones you pay to get. And based on their Amazon rankings and cover design, I’m confident this author was not making a living from book royalties.
And yet, they used their “success” to create a workshop for authors.
Most of their tips revolved around how to use extroversion to sell books to strangers in person. And while these strategies can absolutely work for the right type of person, the fundamental premise of the workshop was flawed. Because this author wasn’t actually a bestseller or award winner—they were just like the rest of us, figuring it out as they went along, and having the occasional spot of luck during their journey.
The thing that really hit me the wrong way, though, was that this particular person was also selling marketing services. Their packages ranged from $100 to $1000 dollars per month and included: tweeting about their client’s book, posting about the book on their blog, sending out a newsletter to their audience, and being available to chat throughout the month.
The author was clearly hosting events targeted at newer, less experienced authors who wouldn’t know about other marketing options, and would hopefully buy their services for at least a month or two.
I have to be honest: I was pretty upset by this.
Not only because they misrepresented their qualifications in a clear attempt to get clients, but also because they couldn’t even answer the most basic questions asked by the audience. One person asked how they got reviews, and their answer was “I put a note in the back of the book requesting readers leave one.” (If you’ve been around a while, you know that this method is a particularly frustrating paradox: you need reviews to get sales, and sales to get reviews.) Another audience member asked how to get paperbacks into bookstores if you publish through KDP, and the author’s response was, “Oh, I carry them into the store,” with no information about other paperback distributors and the various methods available to indie authors.
My impression walking away from the workshop was that this author was a scam artist who used charm and charisma to get clients. Only three or four clients a month would be all they needed to get a pretty basic salary.
And this is not the first time I’ve seen this. These authors aren’t doing anything illegal, of course, but it feels extremely unethical to me—preying on newer, desperate authors who simply want to get the word out about their book and find new readers.
But there are many better, cheaper ways to do this. There are legitimate services out there that cost a lot less than $1000 a month. An author could pay for Amazon or Bookbub advertising, $0.99 and free book promos, or any number of other services from legitimate companies. This author wasn’t offering those. Just their own twitter account and blog. They didn’t even provide analytics for how many visitors they got per month, or how many likes and retweets.
To be honest, I’ve never attended a workshop by a “bestseller” (even at the New York Writer’s Digest Conference!) focused on explaining how they achieved that status, that turned out to have anything more useful than, “I wrote a book and got lucky.” One author I listened to speak, basically said they got several BookBubs in a row, but had no advice on how to actually get said promotion (it’s a selective lottery, but there are some choices you can make to possibly increase your chances). Another author happened to have a cousin who was a celebrity who then tweeted about the book. (I don’t know about you, but I am not related to any celebrities.)
I’m becoming more and more wary of workshops from authors who claim to be “bestselling.” Particularly if I’ve never heard their name before. In my opinion, the best approach is the slow approach. It’s not about making a bajillion dollars overnight, as nice as that would be. It’s about building a business slowly over time, making and following through on a plan, and sticking with it. If someone promises a shortcut to success, it’s probably a scam.
Wilfredo Potato doing acrobatics to try to force the door open while Rowan and Buck look on with mild bemusement.
